Yesterday I have read an article "Overcome Anger" saying a prayer may help people feel less angry and behave less aggressively after someone has left them fuming, now research suggests . Some of the points i whant to share whit you: “Please learn to control your anger”, “Is this the way to react?” “Why can’t you do something to control your anger, it would lead to stress and unhappy life?” – Anger management – A very strong phrase to use for all the tantrums we receive in our day to day life, isn’t it?
Anger can be normal and healthy emotion that helps us instinctively detect and respond to a threatening situation. More than this, when it is properly channeled, it can be a powerful motivating force
However it can also be an emotion due to various reasons personally and professionally that gets out of control, leading to stress, distress, unhealthiness and unhappiness. Uncontrolled anger can seriously harm your personal and professional life, because it can become incredibly destructive – to yourself and the people around you and in a modern workplace that often demands trust and collaboration, it can cause great damage to working relationships.
Most of us would be very careful while what we say when it comes to workplace as it comes with huge penalty. However, we show the frustration and anger in our personal life.We must learn to direct anger constructively rather than destructively. But how?
Anger is a well-developed coping mechanism that we turn to when our goals are frustrated, or when we feel threat to ourselves or to people, things and ideas we care about. It helps us react quickly and decisively in situations where there is no time for a careful, reasoned analysis of the situation. And it can motivate us to solve problems, achieve our goals, and remove threats.
Acting in anger can serve, therefore, to protect yourself or others. A positive response and constructive outcome can improve your self-esteem and self-confidence.
On the other hand, a negative response can damage relationships and lead to a loss of respect and self-respect. This is particularly the case when we react instantly and angrily to what we perceive to be a threat, but where that perception is wrong. This can leave us looking very foolish.
So we need to learn to use anger positively, where situations are not immediately life-threatening, we need to calm down and evaluate the accuracy of our perceptions before, if necessary, channeling anger in a powerful but controlled way.
Anger management, then, is the process of learning how to "calm down" and diffuse the negative emotion of anger before it gets to a destructive level.
People experience anger in many different ways and for many different reasons. What makes you angry may only mildly irritate one of your colleagues, and have little to no effect on another. This subjectivity can make anger difficult to understand and deal with; it also highlights that the response is down to you. Despite our differences in the level of anger we feel toward something, there are some universal causes of anger that include:
* Frustration of our goals.
* Hurt.
* Harassment.
* Personal attack (mental or physical) on ourselves. * Threat to people, things or ideas that we hold dear.
We commonly experience these potential anger triggers in our daily lives. An appropriate level of anger that is expressed correctly helps us take the right action, solve the problem that is presenting itself, or deal with the situation in a positive manner.
So when you're angry, use a helpful tool that is to calm down. One of my friends had asked me to take up Anger management, may be it was meant to be humorous but it definitely made me introspect and see how often I get angry and how I react in those times. I thought may be reading about Anger Management would help. After reading about it, I started practicing few things and it helped me a lot which I would like to share with you. Though I am still in the making phase :)
Maintain a “Log": Use it to monitor what triggers your anger and the frequency of your anger responses. When you know what makes you angry, you will be in a much better position to develop strategies to contain it or channel it effectively.
If you do, acknowledge that you have a problem managing anger: It is an observed truth that you cannot change what you don't acknowledge. So it is important to identify and accept that anger is a roadblock to your success.
Use your support network: If anger is a problem, let the important people in your life know about the changes you are trying to make. They can be a source of motivation and their support will help you when you lapse into old behavior patterns.Use Anger Management techniques to interrupt the anger cycle
* Pause. * Take deep breaths.
* Tell your self you can handle the situation.
* Stop the negative thoughts.
Use empathy: If another person is the source of your anger, try to see the situation from his or her perspective. Remind yourself to be objective and realize that everyone makes mistakes and it is through mistakes that people learn how to improve.
Laugh at yourself: Humor is often the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything so seriously.
The next time you feel tempted to break the computer that you are working on, think about how silly you would look and see the humor in your inappropriate expressions of anger.
Relax: Angry people are often the ones who let the little things bother them. If you learn to calm down you will realize that there is no need to get uptight and you will have fewer angry episodes.
Build trust: Angry people can be cynical people. They believe that others are going to do something on purpose to annoy or frustrate them even before it happens. If you can build trust in people you will be less
likely to become angry with them when something does go wrong and more likely to attribute the problem to something other than a malicious intent.
Listen: Miscommunication contributes to frustrating and mistrusting situations. The better you listen to what a person is saying, the better able you will be to find a resolution that does not involve an anger response.
Be assertive: Remember, the word is assertive NOT aggressive. When you are angry it is often difficult to express yourself properly. You are too caught up in the negative emotion and your physiological symptoms (beating heart, red face) to put together solid arguments or appropriate responses. If you learn to assert yourself and let other people know your expectations, boundaries, issues, and so on, you will have much more interpersonal success.
Live each day as if it is your last: This saying may be overused, but it holds a fundamental truth. Life is short and it is much better spent positively than negatively. Realize that if you spend all your time getting angry, you will miss out on the many joys and surprises that life has to offer.
Forgive: To ensure that the changes you are making go much deeper than the surface, you need to forgive the people in your life that have angered you. It is not easy letting go of past hurts and resentments but the only way to move past your anger is to let go of these feelings and start fresh.
Even if you are not at the point where you feel your anger is a problem, it is a wise idea to familiarize yourself with the processes listed. If you do not have the tools to deal with anger correctly, it has a way of building-up over time. Before you know it, you can be in a position where anger is controlling you rather than you controlling it. Its never too late!
