Oare..!?!

Fiecare relatie de amicitie, de prietenie, de iubire, fiecare interactiune cu cei din jurul tau au o valoare inestimabila.
Pe langa experienta de viata pe care o castigam, de fiecare data avem sansa de a schimba sau poate chiar transforma ceva, pentru ca in realitate nu suntem separati unii de ceilalti si contrar vointei noastre de cele mai multe ori suntem influientati atat de mediul cat si de oamenii cu care interactionam zilnic.

Dar ce s-ar petrece daca intr-o

dimineata ne-am trezi si am vedea lumea altfel, am vedea fiecare om in parte, ce reprezinta el, ce este important pentru el, care sunt nazuintele si aspiratiile lui… parca totul s-ar schimba.

Un vechi proverb foarte intelept ne sfatuieste sa tratam oamenii ca si cum ei au devenit deja ceea ce pot deveni. Astfel, pe langa increderea pe care o acordam fiecarui om cu care interactionam, il ajutam sa realizeze mai repede ceea ce vrea si spera.

Iar aceasta stare de curaj ne va ajuta si pe noi sa ne urmam visele si sa actionam in consecinta.
Vom fi uimiti sa remarcam cum un cuvant bun, un compliment, un zambet pot schimba atat ambianta in care ne aflam cat si calitatea relatiilor pe care le avem zilnic cu cei cu care interactionam.

Te-ai intrebat vre-odata cat de important esti in aceasta lume? Cat de mult conteaza fiecare alegere pe care o faci clipa de clipa, zi de zi?

Good luck

People often handle life as they do bad weather. They while away the time waiting for it to get better. Yet the tide of opportunity comes to everyone.

Opportunity knocks all the time but you've got to be ready for it. When your chance comes, you must have the equipment to take advantage of it. The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, for time and chance happen to everyone.

Take a second look at what appears to be someone's"goodluck". You'll find not luck but preparation,planning and success-oriented thinking. When you're prepared for opportunity your chance for success is sure to come.

The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success.

Espressing yourself...my be a problem ?

One of the hardest things to do when you're communicating with someone is expressing yourself. How many times have you said something that just didn't come out the way you wanted it to? How many times have we said something that we really didn't mean, but we were too frustrated to stop it from being said?   
What's more, some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They're afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions.
This can be a constant struggle for people. However, it is something that can be conquered. Every being on the planet communicates in some fashion. And the more complex the form of communication is, you will find more complex relationships as well.
Human speech is the most complicated form of communication in the world. We have so many ways to express ideas, feelings, dreams, suggestions, thoughts, intents, love, rage, desire, and so forth.
Words have the power to give life and death...especially in relationships.

So it is important that you learn to express yourself. You must learn to convey your thoughts, ideas, dreams, ambitions, hopes and emotions to those that you share a relationship with. Your inability to do so, will damage your relationships.            

 If you have a fear of people, people will avoid you. You avoid people because you fear that they will hurt you. People see your aloofness, and even think the worst, or grant your desire and leave you alone. Then you wonder why it is that no one likes you.

 When you can't open up to people, people will feel that you are unapproachable. You'll have a hard time getting close to people when you bottle everything up inside. Your relationships will all be shallow.

Your inability to express yourself will haunt you in times of trouble. You'll need help, you'll want help, but you won't seek it. You'll hide. So, no one helps you. Then you grow resentful and angry.

Another danger is that of isolation. You build walls around your emotions and people instinctively leave you alone. That might be what you wanted at first, but your life will be barren, and empty. Life is relationships. The stronger your relationships the more joy you'll have in life. No matter if it is with your mate, God, children, neighbors, co-workers, friends, relatives, or even yourself, you must learn to express yourself.

"Nu scrii pentru ca ai ceva de spus, ci pentru ca vrei sa spui ceva" - E. Cioran

Evident ca aceasta este o replica care este caracteristica barbatului....cele mai multe dintre noi,mai niciodata nu vor sa spuna ceva, doar cateodata au ceva de spus iar intotdeauna au ceva de comentat .              


Randurile scrise de E. Cioran mi-au placut foarte mult ,erau explicatia pe care eu nu o gasisem... un mic adevar intr-o mare de minciuni...
Vreau sa spun multe lucruri si nu am curajul... sau nu gasesc cuvintele... sau nu gasesc rostul...
Vreau sa fac multe si nu am indrazneala...                                       
Poate ca nu am nimic de spus... si nu cred ca e cel mai grav lucru...
Poate prefer sa tac si sa ma fac ca nu vad sau ca nu inteleg...
Poate prefer linistea unui zgomot care nu ar rezolva nimic...
Poate totusi as avea ceva de spus... dar e mult prea personal sau mult prea subiectiv sau foarte egoist sau poate nu-i corect...
Poate ar face pe cineva sa sufere... poate ar provoca durere, zbucium sau nedumerire... regrete...
Poate am ceva de spus... in gura mare!!!... dar ce-ar spune lumea atunci???
Poate uneori imi vine sa strig adevarurile mele chiar daca nimeni nu ar fi de acord cu ele
Poate vreau sa spun ceva chiar daca nu am nimic de spus...
Si nu are legatura cu faptul ca sunt femeie, ca anii trec, ca sunt iubita sau orice...
Imi pun intrebari si caut raspunsuri...
Interpretez si dau replici taioase..
Chiar daca nu voi avea niciodata nimic deosebit de spus...
Mi-e tot mai clar ca vreau sa spun ceva!

A cultural perspective on more than one aspect

Cultural sensitivity is the process of highlighting differences and similarities between cultures and communities. People pertaining to different backgrounds may be sensitized to the customs and behavioural patterns of other communities DESPITE differences or even OWING to differences. Differences bring a breach in the humdrum of everyday life, while psychological barriers and cultural norms need to be challenged occasionally. The human mind needs renewal via the assimilation of new knowledge and attitudes. The way we handle our social self-image or ‘face’ is one such issue. In western cultures, people tend to protect their fellowbeings’ negative face, i.e. the need to act freely, to suffer no imposition, to follow one’s planned course of events. Westerners are keen about doing what they want when they want it, thus enabling others to benefit from the same freedom of choice. Protecting the positive face, i.e. paying compliments and displaying concern is rather typical of the Middle East. Whenever we travel to Greece or Turkey, we are showered with compliments and lavished with praise. Located at the crossroads of western and eastern (Balkanian) civilizations, Romanians tend to embrace both trends. Being a good host, making your friends feel significant and valued seems to intertwine with the need to allow them to engage in whatever actions they please. Yet, the need to flatter our peers’ egos seems to prevail over the need to grant them unimpeded freedom of action. Sometimes we seem to want to force-feed our guests, to over-entertain them, to overdo attention-granting while taking them sightseeing or getting acquainted with local flavours. We boast about espousing western values, yet we cling to the old Balkanian ways of rewarding people for their good company: uttering praise, giving them useless gifts, attending to alleged needs to the point of making them feel utterly helpless. Another field where western practices overlap yet equally diverge from traditional, Balkanian practices is education. As a rule, the educational system in Romania mirrors the prevalence of the positive face needs. The teacher-student relationships focus on praise or criticism rather than on granting liberty of thought and expression. More often than not, the teacher is regarded as a figure of incontestable authority, who has answers to all questions and who is entitled to pass any evaluative judgements. Personal opinions and the ability to think independently are backgrounded, as the capacity to memorise information and to demonstrate acquired skills are better vales. ‘Good’ learners are praised, while ‘slow’ learners are the target of steady marginalization and even disdain. Given this context, democratisation of the teacher-student relationships is a recent phenomenon in Romania and is not always welcome by either teachers or …parents. Many parents regard teachers who adjust their classes to the students’ personal needs and feedback as a sign a weakness rather than a proof of flexibility. Encouragement of less promising students is equally seen as a sign of weakness or exaggerated lenience. Equality in status is not regarded as an asset but rather as the source of potential anarchy in class. Could this be the result of half a century of totalitarianism? Expecting to be sanctioned for poor or below average academic performance is widespread. Parents frequently insist that teachers should either lecture their students on the disadvantages of having poor grades or on inflicting supplementary homework on the less promising students. Although not enthusiastic about being either scolded or assigned extra tasks, students themselves seem to expect criticism and, inevitably, sanction from their teachers. Frequently enough poor academic performance used to be attributed to lack of attention in class and engagement in frivolous concerns such as movies, games and computers. Inability to focus or to perform tasks within given spans of time used to be regarded as a display of disobedience rather than disability and punished in consequence. On the other hand, having benefited from freedom to travel and to participate in international assemblies or workshops or any other form of get-together has enabled Romanians to reassess the powerful role played by praise and encouragement in the educational process. New student-centered pedagogies lay significant stress on arousing the student’s interest, guiding him/her towards specific accomplishments, and rewarding them with upcheering feedback for the smallest steps forward they take. Thus, shy or insecure students are able to increase their self-confidence and, with time, come to work in lockstep with their peers. When it comes to training in multinational environments, Romanians have managed to successfully merge the western influence with the traditional approach to teaching. In order to impose in class, the trainer needs to be a role model for the trainees. The participants only acknowledge the trainer’s role if the level of expertise is very high. The information is not taken for granted. It is questioned by the class and the presenter needs to be extremely well-prepared in order to gain the attention of the trainees. More often than not, trainees perceive themselves as a customer whose expectations need to be met, who needs to acquire knowledge while also be entertained. Given these expectations, the trainers need to permanently focus on improving their knowledge, on being true domain experts themselves and on being perceived as role models for the trainees.

Anger Management - BE assertive and NOT Aggressive

Yesterday  I have read an article "Overcome Anger" saying a prayer may help people feel less angry and behave less aggressively after someone has left them fuming, now research suggests . Some of the points i whant to share whit you:       

“Please learn to control your anger”, “Is this the way to react?” “Why can’t you do something to control your anger, it would lead to stress and unhappy life?” – Anger management – A very strong phrase to use for all the tantrums we receive in our day to day life, isn’t it?

Anger can be normal and healthy emotion that helps us instinctively detect and respond to a threatening situation. More than this, when it is properly channeled, it can be a powerful motivating force

However it can also be an emotion due to various reasons personally and professionally that gets out of control, leading to stress, distress, unhealthiness and unhappiness. Uncontrolled anger can seriously harm your personal and professional life, because it can become incredibly destructive – to yourself and the people around you and in a modern workplace that often demands trust and collaboration, it can cause great damage to working relationships.

Most of us would be very careful while what we say when it comes to workplace as it comes with huge penalty. However, we show the frustration and anger in our personal life.
We must learn to direct anger constructively rather than destructively. But how?
Anger is a well-developed coping mechanism that we turn to when our goals are frustrated, or when we feel threat to ourselves or to people, things and ideas we care about. It helps us react quickly and decisively in situations where there is no time for a careful, reasoned analysis of the situation. And it can motivate us to solve problems, achieve our goals, and remove threats.
Acting in anger can serve, therefore, to protect yourself or others. A positive response and constructive outcome can improve your self-esteem and self-confidence.
On the other hand, a negative response can damage relationships and lead to a loss of respect and self-respect. This is particularly the case when we react instantly and angrily to what we perceive to be a threat, but where that perception is wrong. This can leave us looking very foolish.
So we need to learn to use anger positively, where situations are not immediately life-threatening, we need to calm down and evaluate the accuracy of our perceptions before, if necessary, channeling anger in a powerful but controlled way.
Anger management, then, is the process of learning how to "calm down" and diffuse the negative emotion of anger before it gets to a destructive level.

People experience anger in many different ways and for many different reasons. What makes you angry may only mildly irritate one of your colleagues, and have little to no effect on another. This subjectivity can make anger difficult to understand and deal with; it also highlights that the response is down to you. Despite our differences in the level of anger we feel toward something, there are some universal causes of anger that include:

* Frustration of our goals.

* Hurt.

* Harassment.

* Personal attack (mental or physical) on ourselves.          
* Threat to people, things or ideas that we hold dear.
We commonly experience these potential anger triggers in our daily lives. An appropriate level of anger that is expressed correctly helps us take the right action, solve the problem that is presenting itself, or deal with the situation in a positive manner.
So when you're angry, use a helpful tool that is to calm down. One of my friends had asked me to take up Anger management, may be it was meant to be humorous but it definitely made me introspect and see how often I get angry and how I react in those times. I thought may be reading about Anger Management would help. After reading about it, I started practicing few things and it helped me a lot which I would like to share with you. Though I am still in the making phase :)
Maintain a “Log": Use it to monitor what triggers your anger and the frequency of your anger responses. When you know what makes you angry, you will be in a much better position to develop strategies to contain it or channel it effectively.
If you do, acknowledge that you have a problem managing anger: It is an observed truth that you cannot change what you don't acknowledge. So it is important to identify and accept that anger is a roadblock to your success.

Use your support network: If anger is a problem, let the important people in your life know about the changes you are trying to make. They can be a source of motivation and their support will help you when you lapse into old behavior patterns.

Use Anger Management techniques to interrupt the anger cycle

* Pause.                                                                                     
* Take deep breaths.
* Tell your self you can handle the situation.
* Stop the negative thoughts.
Use empathy: If another person is the source of your anger, try to see the situation from his or her perspective. Remind yourself to be objective and realize that everyone makes mistakes and it is through mistakes that people learn how to improve.
Laugh at yourself: Humor is often the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything so seriously.
The next time you feel tempted to break the computer that you are working on, think about how silly you would look and see the humor in your inappropriate expressions of anger.
Relax: Angry people are often the ones who let the little things bother them. If you learn to calm down you will realize that there is no need to get uptight and you will have fewer angry episodes.
Build trust: Angry people can be cynical people. They believe that others are going to do something on purpose to annoy or frustrate them even before it happens. If you can build trust in people you will be less
likely to become angry with them when something does go wrong and more likely to attribute the problem to something other than a malicious intent.
Listen: Miscommunication contributes to frustrating and mistrusting situations. The better you listen to what a person is saying, the better able you will be to find a resolution that does not involve an anger response.
Be assertive: Remember, the word is assertive NOT aggressive. When you are angry it is often difficult to express yourself properly. You are too caught up in the negative emotion and your physiological symptoms (beating heart, red face) to put together solid arguments or appropriate responses. If you learn to assert yourself and let other people know your expectations, boundaries, issues, and so on, you will have much more interpersonal success.

Live each day as if it is your last: This saying may be overused, but it holds a fundamental truth. Life is short and it is much better spent positively than negatively. Realize that if you spend all your time getting angry, you will miss out on the many joys and surprises that life has to offer.

Forgive: To ensure that the changes you are making go much deeper than the surface, you need to forgive the people in your life that have angered you. It is not easy letting go of past hurts and resentments but the only way to move past your anger is to let go of these feelings and start fresh.

Even if you are not at the point where you feel your anger is a problem, it is a wise idea to familiarize yourself with the processes listed. If you do not have the tools to deal with anger correctly, it has a way of building-up over time. Before you know it, you can be in a position where anger is controlling you rather than you controlling it. Its never too late!

Shoppingul prelungeşte viaţa

Acum stim motivul pentru care in general femeile traiesc mai mult decat barbatii :).     

Cu cât oamenii merg mai des la cumpărături cu atât trăiesc mai mult, au constatat oamenii de ştiinţă din Taiwan, transmite Xinhua.

Potrivit unui studiu realizat de Institutul Naţional pentru Sănătate de la Taipei, rata mortalităţii în rândul persoanelor în vârstă care merg la cumpărături o dată sau de mai multe ori pe săptămână este cu 27% mai scăzută decât în rândul celor cărora nu le place să meargă la cumpărături.

“Studiul a schimbat stereotipurile despre shopping”, subliniază autorii, indicând că au constatat un efect pozitiv al mersului la cumpărături mai mult printre bărbaţi decât printre femei.

Rata mortalităţii printre bărbaţii pasionaţi de shopping este cu 28% mai mică faţă de cei care merg o dată-de două ori pe lună la cumpărături, acest indice fiind de 23% în cazul femeilor.

Cu toate acestea, după cum menţionează experţii, oamenii de ştiinţă taiwanezi nu au putut să explice în ce mod shoppingul prelungeşte viaţa. Unii dintre ei cred că nivelul scăzut de mortalitate printre cei cărora le place “să alerge prin centrele comerciale” se poate explică prin natura şi compartamentul lor energic. În orice caz, “shoppingul aduce aceleaşi beneficii ca şi gimnastica de dimineaţă”, au căzut de acord experţii.